The narrative is “stick with it until something better comes along,” even if the partner in question is abusive. For men in bad relationships, there isn’t much out there.
#WALKING AWAY WHILE STILL IN LOVE HOW TO#
That’s because for most of history, women have been defined by their relationships to men: Bad relationships were easy to get into and almost impossible to leave, which meant that as soon as we moved into an era of choice and romantic love rather than being the property of your partner, we made sure to create a lot of lot of language telling women how to avoid, change or leave bad relationships. Somewhat fortunately for women, we’re often primed on when and why to break up with someone. It’s a specific, excruciating horror and it rarely comes with the sympathy, friend support, and ice cream that being dumped holds. I will maintain until the day I die that it’s far worse to be the person doing the breaking up than it is to be broken up with. I should add, before anyone gets too riled up by that claim, that everyone sucks at knowing when to break up. But again, she was hot and nice sometimes, and remember, it had been four whole months. Towards the end, he couldn’t even defend himself, and he openly admitted that it was dumb to stay. Everyone in the office shared looks when he talked about her. We all encouraged him to break up with her. She was entitled and critical of my coworker and frequently outright rude to people. To the surprise of no one outside of that relationship, it was not just that one time. Anyway, he went on another date with her and she was really nice. She hadn’t eaten in a while so she was hungry (not a real excuse for being mean). She’s one of the top fitness teachers in L.A. I filled in the rest of the sentence for him: “But she’s hot, right?” He nodded. He laughed it off, qualifying the meanness: “Not mean to me, but like, she was kind of rude to her mom on the phone.” Realizing that this sounded worse, he smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. If you're going to have only one deal breaker in a relationship, it should be “mean.” The first time he went out on a date with his ex, he came into work and told us that she was-and he said this very reluctantly, the way you admit to your dentist that you only floss once a week-“kind of mean.” Mean! Mean. In this case, anyone who knew this guy knew it was coming.
Not because I’m brilliant at guessing break-ups-though I did call Fergie and Josh Duhamel and Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan. The kind of break-up bad enough that you bring your friends to get your Nintendo Switch from your ex’s house (but not so bad that you leave it there-come on, it’s $300). A guy I work with is going through a terrible, terrible break-up.
0 kommentar(er)
